I am not a killjoy or a party pooper
I like a good time as much as the next person
Dining dancing discourse
Bring me a great deal of pleasure

But pleasure comes and goes
Is not sustainable
Appeals to the senses

Joy however is an altogether different experience
If you have walked through the valley of the shadow of death
And sustained no lasting injury
Then your travelling companion was joy

A presence a knowledge that you are never alone
And that however bad things might appear to be
That ‘this too will pass’

I am not immune from sadness
Anxiety and uncertainty are still familiar bedfellows
But take up less and less space in my life
Since I came to realise
That joy is a constant and loyal companion

Always there for me to turn to
And so much more life affirming than my conditioned craving
For pain negativity and unhappiness

When I find myself able to forgive                                                       
This is fuelled by joy
If I choose to press through a difficult situation
Rather than ignore it or pretend that it doesn’t exist
This is because joy holds out a helping hand to me

When I can look in the mirror
And open my heart to what I see there
Joy is responsible

Joy is the steady even pulse to which I always return
And from which I am lived…

(written Thursday December 18th 2014)